The Grief of it All: A Letter to My Mother

Dear Ma,

It’s been a year since you left, and not a single day has felt easier than the one before. My emotions ebb and flow like the tide—sometimes overwhelming, other times leaving me numb. Yet, through it all, I still feel you beside me. I hope you’re proud of the person I’m becoming. I find comfort in imagining you smiling, finally at peace.

People often say that time heals, and maybe they’re right. But right now, what I’d give for just one more conversation with you—to share a funny story, to hear you laugh, or to talk about a new show we both would have loved. It breaks my heart to think of all the moments you’ll miss, the experiences I wish I could share with you.

Still, even in the sadness, I carry an immense sense of gratitude. I was blessed with a mother like you. You taught me the importance of tidiness, the power of first impressions, the dignity in carrying oneself with confidence, and the wisdom in knowing when to walk away—or when to admit I was wrong. Those lessons are etched in me, guiding me daily, even in your absence.

Me and My Mom

To Those Grieving

If you’ve lost a parent or loved one, know this: Your feelings are valid. Grief and healing are not linear. And if you’re tired of hearing that, I get it. Sometimes, words of comfort don’t land the way people hope they will.

But what I can say is this—hold on to the memories. Let them wrap around you when the grief feels unbearable. Let them be your light on the hard days.

How I Cope With the Loss of My Mom

1. I Allow Myself to Grieve

Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. Some days are easier, some are unbearable. I remind myself that it’s okay to feel everything—without judgment.

2. I Created a Routine

When everything else felt uncertain, establishing a routine gave me a sense of normalcy. Even small habits—like my morning routine that often mimicked hers—or reading my bible in the morning helped ground me.

3. I Share Memories

I talk about her often, sharing stories with family and friends. Keeping her memory alive brings me comfort and reminds me how much she shaped my life.

4. I Seek Support

Talking to others who understand grief has been invaluable. Not everyone has the kind of relationship I had with my mom, and that perspective made me cherish her even more.

5. I Memorialize Her

I’ve created a space in my home with her photos and little things that remind me of her. Sometimes, just seeing it there brings a sense of peace.

6. I Practice Self-Care

Grief is exhausting. I’ve learned to be gentle with myself—whether that means resting, journaling, or doing something that makes me feel good.

Everyone’s journey through loss is different. There’s no perfect way to heal—only the way that feels right for you.

If you’ve lost a loved one, I’d love to hear about them. Share a memory in the comments, if you feel comfortable. Let’s honor them together.

Sending you love this month, especially if it feels heavy.

Love Courtney